Episode 41: Your Next Date Night: Goal-Setting Edition
When is the last time you and your partner sat down and had a conversation about your goals? If I had to guess, I’m sure it’s been awhile! My husband and I typically try to have these conversations on the fly. But with kids in the backseat, it’s not usually the most focused chat. In today’s episode, we are going to dive into how to talk with your partner about your goals. This conversation will ideally be a great way for you to connect and continue to grow and inspire one another.
Before we get started, It goes without saying, but remember – all relationships are different. What has worked for me or for other moms may not work for you. That is absolutely OK. Take what you need and leave the rest. The best thing about this process is that it is completely customizable to you and your situation.
And finally, be sure to record notes from this conversation in your MAP Book. You’ll be glad you did in a few months!
Preparing For Your Goals Conversation
Before we explore what this conversation will be about, we first have to take a step back and decide HOW this conversation will happen. Back in January, my husband and I did our annual money meeting (you can learn more about that here). To make that happen, we booked a babysitter for an entire afternoon. I created a list of things we wanted to make decisions about ahead of time. After we kissed our kids good-bye, we headed to a local Panera and set up shop for about 3 hours.
So if you are hoping to make this conversation high-quality and focused, here are some tips:
- Get a babysitter! Find a time when your kids are fully occupied so that you can give your undivided attention to your partner.
- Find a place where you will be able to have some privacy
- Have a pre-chat to decide what you and your partner want the outcomes of the conversation to be
- Set a time limit and plan to do something fun afterwards …with or without the kids!
Questions to Cover For Your Goals Conversation
Here is a list of discussion questions to get you started with your goals conversation. You may walk into this conversation with an idea of what you want to focus on this year. On the flip side, you (or your partner!) may not have even thought about what you want this year to bring. There is no right or wrong, just meet your partner where you are at as a couple.
- Where do you want to be at the end of 2023?
- What do we want to have done as a family by the end of 2023?
- Where do you want our relationship to be at the end of 2023?
- What financial goals do we want to set?
- What health and wellness goals can I support you with?
- Are there any projects around our home you are really wanting to tackle?
- How are we going to prioritize our relationship this year?
- What ways do you want to grow personally this year?
- Are there any goals that you have that I can support you with this year?
- What word do you want to use to describe our parenting this year?
Goal Conversation Notes
Remember, this conversation can be about both of you as individuals, just you as an individual or as a couple. There is no “right” way to do this. At the beginning of my personal growth journey, I remember sharing with my husband that I wanted to learn more about photography. We talked about what that could look like, how much money we were willing to invest and where I could find time in the day to make this learning happen. Those conversations were pretty much focused on me at the time, since I was the one leaning into my personal growth.
Since then, my husband has started a personal growth journey of his own. In past years, our conversations have been about activities he wants to participate in and experiences he wants to have. We have worked together to prioritize his workouts and consistency with his morning wake-ups.
This year, our conversation focused more on us as a family. We talked about investments we want to make, trips we want to take and experiences that we want our kids to have. We are in that sweet spot right now with an 8 and 6 year old where everyone still wants to spend time together, so we are trying to take advantage of that while it lasts!
Benefits of Having a Goals Conversation
Each year, your goals conversation may look a little different and the outcomes may vary wildly. But there are so many benefits to having goal conversations with your partner.
First, it helps you to both get on the same page. There is nothing worse than your partner feeling as though they are being left behind as you work towards something that they are not a part of. By including them in the thought process, you are inviting them to the table.
Second, I love that goals conversations can be so inspiring. If your partner is not working on their personal growth at the moment, this conversation may inspire them to think about where they might want to put some of their time and energy. Imagine being one good conversation away from changing your life?! Goosebumps!
Finally, goals conversations help you connect with your partner. Once kids arrive on scene, it is so easy to get swept up in the day-to-day. By making time for these big conversations, you are giving your relationship some space to grow. Dreaming together is fun and you will be surprised at how much more connected you feel by the end of the conversation!
Let’s Make a Plan!
Take a moment to ask yourself if a goal conversation feels right for you. If it does, talk to your partner and try to get a date on the calendar. Even if you don’t know the specifics yet, having the time set aside will allow you to fill in the details later.
After considering it, if a goals conversation doesn’t feel right to you or your partnership right now, that is OK! You can always use these questions as journaling prompts or set a calendar reminder when you are in a better place to have this conversation.
If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe on Spotify so you don’t miss next week’s episode about personal growth goal ideas for busy moms. As busy moms, it can be hard to find the time to choose the goals that will create the most impact in 2023. Be sure to tune in to learn about the top personal growth goals that I encourage for moms that want to make 2023 the year everything changes.
Finally, if you want to connect between episodes, be sure to give me a follow over on Instagram – @sharonlegercoaching. I would love to support you on your personal growth journey!
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And finally, you can also check out these related episodes that I think you’ll be obsessed with:
