So we’ve all been there before: the dreaded mommy meltdown. I had one just the other day, as a matter-of-fact! Before we dive into today’s episode about mom mindset and how to get it right, I want to start by reminding you of this. You do a lot, mama. You do a ton. There are so many tabs open in your brain at all times and it is 100% OK for you to lose your you-know-what sometimes.
That being said, there are strategies for avoiding the meltdown and strengthening your mom mindset so you can show up as your best self for yourself, for your kids and for your family. I am a huge fan of concrete strategies that you can immediately apply to your own life, so I truly hope this episode is helpful for you!
The first strategy for strengthening your mom mindset is to identify your triggers. It took me years to figure this out, but for me, my meltdown trigger is my environment. That’s not to say that I live in a pristine house, far from it with 2 dogs and 2 kids. But I now know that I need a certain amount of clutter-reducing and cleaning to happen for my mental health.
Again, it took me years of losing my mind and then tracing it backwards to identify this trigger. But now that I am aware of it and my husband is aware of it, I can be more proactive about it. Every day, we do one cleaning task and spend 10 minutes clearing clutter. That time investment is all the way worth it! And when we hired a cleaning lady, the trigger basically disappeared and I felt myself being calm much more often.
Speaking of being proactive, let’s explore that a little further with our second strategy for getting your mom mindset right. For years, I constantly felt like I was reacting to motherhood, not being proactive with it. I wanted to be the mom that remembered to buy the classmates’ birthday gift more than an hour before the party. But despite the best of intentions, I could never quite pull it off.
Then, one day, in a fit of desperation, I grabbed a 99¢ notebook out of a cabinet in my classroom and started writing down lists. Lists of things I needed to do today. Then lists of things I wanted to do next month. This was followed by lists of things that I wanted to accomplish by the end of the year. Over time, I slowly grew a customized system that helped me get everything out of my head and onto paper. I learned to get consistent with the system, trust the system and now I live and breathe by my notebook system, If you’ve been following along for awhile, you know that this system is my MAP Book and you can get your free set-up guide for your own system.
If you do nothing else, mama, try this. It was a game changer for me and I no longer laid awake in bed at night, remembering all of the things that I didn’t tackle that day.
Promise me you won’t turn this podcast off when you hear the third strategy, OK? Promise? The third strategy is to learn how to breath. Oh my goodness, I know. It’s so basic, it hurts. But honestly, I started learning more about breathing in a personal growth coach training program that I began in February 2022 and it has done wonders for my mom mindset and my anxiety.
I learned that biologically, our bodies are designed to breathe through our noses. You are only supposed to breathe through your mouth when you are being chased by a lion, since it activates your body’s fight or flight response. Huh! I literally never knew that and since I began focusing on my breathing, I have noticed a huge shift in my mindset.
This wouldn’t be a personal growth podcast if I didn’t remind you of the fourth strategy – practicing gratitude. Studies have shown that practicing gratitude for 5 minutes a week can do the same work as an antidepressant. What, what?! And that’s 5 minutes a WEEK!
In my 99¢ notebook every day, I write down 5 things that I am grateful for. Even on the hardest of days, I can come up with 5 specific things that I am grateful for. By doing this exercise daily, you begin to notice things when you’re not writing the list that you want to write down the next day. This strategy helps me to stay present and generally improves my mood and mom mindset.
You knew it was coming, mama. It’s time to talk about mantras. It took me actual years to buy into the idea of mantras and positive self-talk. But I promise you, if you take the time to find a system that works for you, this can change your mom mindset in ways you never thought possible.
For me, I made a huge list of mantras that I found on the internet about the kind of mom that I wanted to be. I searched Pinterest and Google Images until I had a hefty list. Then I went down the list, selected one that spoke to me and then modified it until it gave me goosebumps. Now remember, this process is different for everyone, so what works for me won’t necessarily work for you. But my motherhood mantra is: “I am a calm and present mom that makes daily memories with her children.” I began to write this mantra every day in my MAP Book until I finally started to see a shift in my mom mindset.
Since I wrote that first mantra, I have since added two more to my collection that I write on my daily planning MAP Book page everyday. I write “My life inspires others” (work) and “I’m in the best shape of my life” (personal). Writing these every day reminds me daily of my goals and what I am working towards.
Just like with the other strategies, this is a great way to be proactive about your mom mindset. You don’t want to wait until you are on the struggle bus to start implementing some of these strategies. Experiment with them, find out what works for you and observe yourself. When you’re feeling great, what is helping you to feel that way? When things are hard and you’re struggling to keep a positive mom mindset, what led you there? What can you do proactively to break that cycle?
And finally, a word of warning: don’t attempt to do all of these strategies at once. It’s a slow build, especially if you want to get consistent with it. The order in which I shared these strategies today would be the order I would recommend practicing them, until they become a part of your daily routine.
Choose one strategy from this week’s episode that you’re going to work into your daily routine. What is it? When are you going to do it? Create a list in your MAP Book, if you have one, and break it down into the smallest steps possible. Maybe you need a notebook, or to download the InsightTimer app to your phone.
Whatever it is, write down your action steps and give yourself a deadline of one week to implement. The sooner you start being proactive with some of these strategies, the sooner you can lean on them in times of need.
If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe on Spotify or YouTube so you don’t miss episode 21, about how to priority plan when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Now this is coming from the Queen of Overwhelmed herself, so prepare yourself for this!
Next, if you want to connect between episodes, be sure to give me a follow over on Instagram. I would love to support you on your personal growth journey, mama!
Finally, be sure to subscribe to my email list to get weekly personal growth delivered right to your inbox – and because I know you’re busy mama, I promise it will include a meaningful action step that will take you 2 minutes or less to implement!
Thank you so much for being here, mama! Get back to doing your thing, rocking your world and remember – keep growing! Little eyes are watching.
If so, be sure to share it with a friend – this helps busy moms like you to find me!
And finally, you can also check out these related episodes that I think you’ll be obsessed with: